Scott Walker, at zero percent in the polls, will have an open casket political funeral


The new CNN poll has Scott Walker polling at less than one half of one percent, or effectively zero. Statistically speaking, no one supports Scott Walker, not his campaign staff, not his family, not even himself. He is the epitome of zero, zilch, nada.

It is expected that he will soon discover a burning need to spend more time on governing Wisconsin, or to be with his family, or perhaps spend quality time with his motorcyle. But before he goes, what are some lessons from his fall?

1) Busting public unions is good, but it doesn't make you into a conservative superhero. Chris Christie knocked some union heads together too, but I don't think President Obama's best New Jersey manfriend would be called a conservative by anyone.

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2) It's ok to flipflop, but not as frequently as Flipper. Almost everyone (except Ted Cruz and Jeb Bush) have changed positions in this race. Donald Trump used to be a raging liberal (and perhaps he still is). But even Trump, once changing his position, didn't go back and forth and back and forth several times within the space of a few days. Scott Walker had three different positions (count them--three) on birthright citizenship alone in a week's time. He quickly became known as being squishy on immigration.

3) He refused to answer serious policy questions on the grounds that he wasn't yet president. I've never made fun of the fact that he never went to college, because he could be quite intelligent despite it. But he showed time and time again (like with his idea of being tough on border security by building a wall with Canada), that he is out of his element. You want to be president, be quick on your feet.

4) He relied too much on Scott, the ordinary guy on the motorcycle image. That's nice, but doesn't substitute for someone who can get into the issues.

5) He wasn't aggressive enough in debates. True, he wasn't called on as much, but he didn't even try like the others did to speak out of turn. Mostly, he was a potted plant.

I've always felt that he was a governor who did a conservative thing with the unions rather than a conservative governor who did a conservative thing with the unions. He's probably the best liberal Wisconsin can do but American can do better.

Scott, you haven't even formally withdrawn yet but already I miss you. Hoping Jim Gilmore or George Pataki can take your spot so we can have a little more gravitas on stage, ha ha.

It is customary in a political wake to share your fondest memory of a candidate. Please do so in the comment section. Also, the Walker campaign asks that all donations in his memory be directed either to the Kawasaki Motorcycle Company, the Milwaukee Bucks Stadium, or his 2020 exploratory campaign for the presidency.

(Abridged version originally published in AT)



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