Global Warming could liquidate Ayatolahs, Islamic State



Global warming has the potential to liquidate a lot of our enemies in the Persian Gulf.

By the end of this century, areas of the Persian Gulf could be hit by waves of heat and humidity so severe that simply being outside for several hours could threaten human life, according to a study published Monday. Because of humanity’s contribution to climate change, the authors wrote, some population centers in the Middle East “are likely to experience temperature levels that are intolerable to humans.”

The dangerously muggy summer conditions predicted for places near the warm waters of the gulf could overwhelm the ability of the human body to reduce its temperature through sweating and ventilation.

So what do we have in the Persian Gulf? We have Iran, which is run by Ayatollahs and Iranian Revolutionary Guards. We have Iraq, which is a mixture of Islamic State and radical Shi'ite militias. And we have Saudi Arabia, which is a hotbed of radical Islamic fundamentalism.

Perhaps climate warfare could be used to eliminate our enemy. The only problem is that it is too slow. These environmental guys always predict things a century out, perhaps so they will not be around to be held responsible if it turns out they were wrong.

In any event, we need to accelerate global warming. We need more coal fired power plants, we should go on a massive building sprees. We should encourage more people to drive cars, except illegal aliens. We should ask Al Gore and his friends to hold more global warming conferences in the far corners of the world, so they will burn a lot of jet fuel in their private planes.

Perhaps in this way we can make it hotter, quicker, and turn our radical Islamic enemies into butter.

Exit question: Given these new "facts", do you think it is fair to say that anyone who wants to reduce "global warming" is implicitly a supporter of the Islamic State?

(Abridged version originally published in AT)



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