The assorted candies and nuts at Obama's State of the Union Address



If you're what Obama considers the right religion, or have the right kind of sex, or have the right kind of political beliefs, chances are you were welcome at Obama's final state of the Caliphate Union address.

1) A Syrian refugee. This particular refugee hasn't killed anyone in a terrorist attack, proving we should invite more.

2) An illegal alien (since legalized), with a college education subsidized by taxpayers. What could be more American than that?

3) The homosexual man (Jim Obergefell) who fought to impose homosexual marriage on the rest of us. The question remains, however, would Obama still have invited Obergefell if he were heterosexual? Was he invited more for pushing homosexuality on the rest of us, or for being homosexual?

4) An empty chair, symbolizing the need for all of us to have our guns taken away from us. Or perhaps the empty chair symbolizes all the people killed by illegal aliens. Or abortions. Or CAFE standards that made cars lighter and more dangerous. Or veterans who couldn't get health care at VA facilities in time.

5) An Obamacare volunteer. I'm not sure if this means someone who advocates for Obamacare, or someone who actually volunteered to sign up for Obamacare. Because for many people it's close to compulsory (subject to a stiff fine), so there is no "volunteering" about it.

6) Proponents of gun control. See #4 above. No proponents of government control, though.

7) Advocates of "criminal justice reform". Why not just cut to the chase and have advocates of crime, or the actual criminals themselves? See also #2 above.

8) The first girl who became an Army Ranger. I'm sure with relaxed standards her fellow male soldiers feel safer. Curiously, the first disguised boy to enter a girl's bathroom was not also invited. I'm sure it's just an oversight.

9) CAIR. No party of super villains would be complete without the famed unindicted coconspiritors of CAIR. They are like like the SPECTRE of radical Islam.

The State of the Union was also a BYOM (Bring your own Muslim) to Congress Day, as many congressmen brought a Muslim along to make themselves look politically correct. Even Paul Ryan brought one, to act as his "beard", perhaps.

This is the constituency of the modern Democratic party: illegal aliens, anal sex activists, muslim refugees, big government types, gun control advocates, decriminalization advocates, radical feminists, and radical Islamists.
Did I miss anyone?

(Abridged version originally published in AT)



Related articles:
President Obama is more of a Bigot than Donald Trump

If there's nothing wrong with being Muslim, why is Obama so upset?

HuffPo asks readers to orgasm to Obama photo








Pat Toomey working hard to get Obama judges confirmed


When Pat Toomey, former president of the conservative Club for Growth, was elected a senator from Pennsylvania, we'd knew he'd be a tough fighter. We just didn't know that he'd be a tough fighter for getting Obama's kooky leftist judges confirmed.
CONTINUE READING

Related articles:
Who will be left after New Hampshire?

The most loved and least liked GOP candidates

The most spectacular political deaths of 2015




The United Methodist Church reveals its anti-semitic core



CONTINUE READING Related articles:
What if Israeli bombs killed 80 civilians in a marketplace?

Guess which US funded ally said "Israel must be destroyed"?

Christians disappearing from Iraq, can you guess why?



Liberals upset phallic objects in kids books aren't female


Have you ever read a book to your children about a talking pencil or rocketship and wondered, "Why didn't they make that character female?" If you have, you aren't alone. A piece in the Washington Post worries about the lack of female animals and female inanimate objects in kids books.
CONTINUE READING Related articles:
Athlete fined $7000 for asking female reporter out for a drink

Very unhappy looking women behind Bill Clinton during speech

Saudi Millionaire cleared of rape charges after he accidently fell into woman



You will never guess which Tea Party Governor is keeping faith with Obamacare


I remember Matt Bevin. I remember Matt Bevin when he was running in a Senate primary against Mitch McConnell. Mark Levin, who always wanted wanted to encourage McConnell to embrace a private sector career, had Bevin on his show from time to time. Bevin wasn't particularly smooth or articulate but he seemed sincere, at least, in his conservatism.
CONTINUE READING Related articles:
Let's applaud the GOP for going the Judge Judy route to fight Obamacare

Scott Walker "hates poor people" because he wants to dismantle Obamacare

Phony Obamacare lawsuit makes House GOP look tough on Obama



If Donald Trump were caught on film strangling someone, what would supporters say?


Given all the evidence I have documented that Donald Trump has a long history as a liberal democrat, abuser of women, switching political parties five times, and employing of illegal aliens, it is amazing that Trump supporters seem to find anyway to excuse whatever Trump has said or done in his life. So I was wondering if the worst possible thing I can think of--a video of Trump strangling a woman to death--appeared on the internet, clearly showing Donald Trump strangling a woman to death (perhaps yelling "Make America Great Again!" at the same time), what are the top things that supporters would likely say?
CONTINUE READING Related articles:
Trump says illegal workers make his American resorts great

Trump, the king of flip-flopping, accuses Ted Cruz of flip-flopping on ethanol

What does Donald Trump mean when he says "I went to Wharton"?



Trump says illegal workers make his American resorts great


Donald Trump is fond of saying that he was the first to talk about a border wall or fence, but back in 2013 when Ted Cruz was pushing an amendment to create it, Donald Trump was actually meeting with a bunch of illegal alien activists to boast about the many illegal aliens who work at his resorts.
CONTINUE READING Related articles:
Trump, the king of flip-flopping, accuses Ted Cruz of flip-flopping on ethanol

What does Donald Trump mean when he says "I went to Wharton"?

Trump accuses Cruz of supporting amnesty (as Trump used to)



Cruz continues to lead in Iowa polls, despite left wing Trump attacks


Ted Cruz continues to lead in six out of the most recent eight polls coming out of Iowa (and tying in a seventh), despite blistering left-wing and birtherism attacks from Donald Trump. Polls reported in Real Clear Politics show him leading anywhere from two to ten points over Trump.
CONTINUE READING Related articles:
Ted Cruz shows Republicans can win with a pro-life campaign

Ted Cruz, unlike Donald Trump, won't let deportees back into America

Ted Cruz's border ad falls flat



Obama planning to close Gitmo, with help from Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell


President Obama is planning to close the prison facility for the most dangerous Al Qaeda terrorists in Guantanamo Bay before he leaves office.
CONTINUE READING Related articles:
Muslim woman comparing plight of American Muslims to Holocaust ejected from Trump rally

Youtube showing ads for Muslim dating sites over Donald Trump speeches

What does "Stop Muslim Immigration until we figure it out" really mean?



Trump, the king of flip-flopping, accuses Ted Cruz of flip-flopping on ethanol


Donald Trump says that Ted Cruz has flip-flopped on the ethanol mandate, formerly wanting it abolished immediately, and now wanting it abolished after a five year phase out. This is hardly a major change of position, but Trump is right that Cruz changed his position on ethanol in 2014 from totally ending the mandate to a gradual phaseout.
CONTINUE READING Related articles:
What does Donald Trump mean when he says "I went to Wharton"?

Trump accuses Cruz of supporting amnesty (as Trump used to)

Will marital rape charge hurt Trump's campaign against Hillary?



Ted Cruz shows Republicans can win with a pro-life campaign


Many Republicans, while theoretically pro-life, are afraid to talk about abortion, for fear of appearing insensitive to women. Ted Cruz is turning that belief on its head by speaking out effectively for the pro-life cause.
CONTINUE READING Related articles:
Ted Cruz, unlike Donald Trump, won't let deportees back into America

Ted Cruz's border ad falls flat

First Trump ad way more effective than Cruz ad




Next Page





Search Topic Areas
o Donald Trump
o Best articles
o Abortion
o Economy
o Education
o Environment
o Hairy feminists
o Gay agenda
o Gun control
o Illegal aliens
o Pop culture
o Radical islam
o Republicans
o Reverse Racism
o Ted Cruz
o Transvestite agenda




NewsMachete.com Copyright 2015
Feedback


Who is NewsMachete?

Privacy policy
Search Topic Areas
o Donald Trump
o Best articles
o Abortion
o Economy
o Education
o Environment
o Hairy feminists
o Gay agenda
o Gun control
o Illegal aliens
o Pop culture
o Radical islam
o Republicans
o Reverse Racism
o Ted Cruz
o Transvestite agenda