What would a Ben Carson robocall for Trump sound like?


What would a Ben Carson robocall for Trump sound like?

"Hello, this is Ben Carson"

(30 second pause)

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"I am calling you to urge you to vote for Donald Trump. I know he said I was pathological. I know he compared me to a child molester. But we have buried the hatchet. Literally. I am ashamed to say I swung a hatched at Donald Trump. Thank goodness it struck his belt buckle and bounced off. I took that as a sign that I should endorse him for President."

"Donald Trump is understanding. There are actually two Donald Trumps. I am endorsing the sane, quiet, intellectual one. Not the other one!"

"Some of you may wonder how I can endorse a man who said ridiculed me time and time again. But when I look at the fruit salad of Donald Trump's life, I realize that he is the man to lead us. Donald Trump also says terrible things about you, the voters. He calls you stupid and says he could shoot you and you would still vote for him. I am voting for Donald Trump precisely because he mocks me; just as you should vote for him for mocking you too."



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Ted Cruz should have called Ben Carson a child molester


I felt more than a little queasy seeing Ted Cruz publically apologize to Ben Carson because someone in his campaign retweeted a news story saying Carson was dropping out of the race. There was nothing wrong with repeating a news story, and Cruz looked like he was grovelling when he apologized, but Cruz did it to try to keep good relations with Carson.
CONTINUE READING

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University of Arizona students demanding free tampons and dental dams


Students at the University of Arizona outlined a long list of demands, including free tampons and dental dams. It looks like they can't be happy unless they have pacifiers in at both ends.
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Air Force finds dumb ways to use smart drones


I like drones. What makes the United Nations frown makes me smile. Shooting Al Qaeda terrorists from 3,000 miles away is the best video game ever.
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Canada decides that 50% of directors must be sexy women


Canada has decided that 50% of TV and movie directors must be sexy women.
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NASA spending millions to repeat Mars rover mission


How many times are we going to send Rovers to Mars? I only ask because NASA keeps spending hundreds of millions of dollars to send more and more of them there. Can anyone tell me what great discoveries were made by previous rovers?
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$50,000 a year college tuition a new form of hidden income tax


The University of Southern California is the first of many schools that are asking for more than $50,000 a year in college tuition.
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Whole Foods using solar power so it can charge $5 for a banana


Whole Foods is going to use more solar panels to power its supermarkets... because it's so GOOOOOD for the ENVIRO-MENT.....
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Amazon's Bezos says his rockets will save humanity from extinction


How can a person be so smart in one thing and so dumb in another? I ask this question in relation to Amazon.com's founder Jeff Bezos, who brilliantly created Amazon.com but is now investing in rockets that he claims will save humanity from impending extinction. Really.
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Employers asking employees if they enjoy anal sex


More and more employers are asking employees what kind of sex they enjoy, with an emphasis on anal sex favored by gay people.
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Wachowski "Matrix" brothers now "Matrix" sisters


Larry and Andy Wachowksi, the producers of the Matrix movies, have decided that they are now girls. These big burly bald men now dress up as girls and want to be called the Wachowski sisters. Larry started dressing like a girl a few years ago and it took Andy a few years to join him.
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