Homeland security says to fight gunmen with coffee cups



The Department of Homeland Security has published a pamphlet full of tips for dealing with a terrorist with a gun who wants to kill you.

Their first advice is to run away. Of course, if you are unarmed in a crowded room, or the gunman is by the door, he will shoot you dead. A pity you didn't have a gun to defend yourself!

The second piece of advice is to hide under a desk. If the gunman doesn't look under desks, you may not die. That presumes you are in a place with desks, and you do not have a gun to protect yourself.

DHS next advises you to block doors with furniture. Of course, a gunman could shoot his way in, taking his time if you don't have a gun to defend yourself.

DHS also advises you to turn off the lights in the room. That may stop the gunman!

Then DHS says you should curl into a ball to make yourself a small a target as possible. Yes, you should curl into a ball. Of course at that point you cannot run and the gunman can simply come up to you and shoot you, since you don't have a gun.

Another option, says the DHS, is to throw books and coffee cups at the gunman! If these are not available, several unarmed people can attack the gunman. Of course, since the gunman is the only one with a gun, several of you may die in the attempt.

And lastly, you can attempt to attack the gunman with a baseball bat, if you can find a baseball to attack the gunman with or are fortunate enough to be the victim of terrorism on a baseball field near a fully stocked dugout. Of course, if he has a gun and you only have a baseball bat, your chances are not good.

Or, instead of doing the above goofy things and probably dying, if you have a gun you could protect yourself. The great thing about concealed carry is that you can usually surprise a gunman because he will not know who is armed. That's why gunmen like to commit massacres in "gunfree" zones because they know that law abiding citizens will obey and be defenceless while they won't. But carrying a gun is not an option the DHS literature offers; only throwing coffee cups and curling into a ball.



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