Should our warships be named after gays or dead apes?


There is a debate raging over whether to name a navy warship after a gay or a dead ape. The homosexual, Harvey Milk, was a prominent activist promoting dangerous anal sex among homosexuals which spread AIDS. This made him a hero for the left, and caused Obama to decide to name a warship after him. But now a petition has been filed with the White House stating that instead of naming a warship for a gay sex activist, the warship should be named for Harambe, the ape who was killed when a child entered his habitat.

Harambe the gorilla was an unarmed, peaceful being who was unjustly murdered.... determined to ensure that primates are not given their fundamental, constitutional rights. He was accused of attacking a child, when all video footage confirms that Harambe (pbuh) was in fact trying to bring the child into his warm, protecting embrace.

The author of the petition sets out a list of comprehensive and persuasive arguments for the proposal. “While there is no doubt that Harvey Milk died in the service of his country, his contribution to American history pales in comparison to the Silverback magnificence that was Harambe. Harambe who gave his life in a volley of friendly fire.”

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It continues by noting the “strategic advantage” that this will give the Navy: “the name Harambe — even whispered — will demand respect, obeisance, and awe. A USS Harambe will strike fear in the hearts of our enemies in a way that the name “Milk” never could. USS Harambe will remind the world that America never forgets its heroes.”

Even Republican nominee Donald Trump has spoken out in sympathy with Harambe. “I think it’s a very tough call. It’s amazing because there were moments with the gorilla the way he held that child it was almost like a mother holding a baby,” said Trump. “It looked so beautiful and calm.”

What do you think, should our warships be named after gay sex advocates, or dead apes? Those seem to be our only choices, since we don't name warships after heroes anymore.



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