Art review: Nude installations of Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump


There have been a fascinating pair of art installations in New York City. First, a nude statue of Donald Trump was erected in New York's famous Washington Square Park some months ago. Then, more recently, a nude statue of Hillary Clinton was unveiled near New York's famous Wall Street.

Both provide art historians with a fascinating insight into early 21st century American art.

The Clinton statue:

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Note the hands held up and out. Mrs. Clinton has been accused of numerous crimes, notably violations of the Espionage Act. The upward angle of the hands could be a gesture of surrender to the authorities.

Notice how red, and large, the tongue is. Of course this is symbolic of blood and vampirism. Once President, Mrs. Clinton promises to engage in fiscal vampirism to drain the monetary blood of taxpayers.

Did you notice the large mammary glands? Mrs. Clinton's breasts seem engorged with milk, inviting voters to drink from her teak to get welfare, national health care, earned income tax credits, and more.

Note the obviously pregnant belly. It can be taken literally, that Mrs. Clinton is pregnant with Chelsea, or perhaps an unexpected temporary visitor from the Vince Foster era. Or it can be viewed metaphorically, as something Mrs. Clinton is in the process of spawning, like single payer health care, or a million military age muslim men imported from the Middle East.

Note the thickness of her thighs. That shows her strength and obduracy to hatch whatever she desires and inflict it on America.

Mrs. Clinton has hooves instead of feet, and one of the hooves is bloody, indicating a willingness to trample over whatever is necessary to get her goals. It is unclear if this is a depiction of Mrs. Clinton as part woman and part goat, or part woman and part cow, or even part woman and part Centaur, but if the lattermost possibility, it shows Mrs. Clinton once again breaking a gender barrier.

Note Mrs. Clinton's choice in clothes--undressed from the waist down, wearing a thong. Mrs. Clinton has never hesitated to use her shapely body to try to seduce the American public.

Notice the small male head sticking out of the side of Mrs. Clinton's body. This is a clear reference to the beast in the movie "The Thing" that had multiple heads and was able to impersonate many different people, just as Mrs. Clinton as impersonated many different political positions over the years.

When an angry feminist knocked over the statue of Mrs. Clinton, she unknowingly created more art. The image of Mrs. Clinton, flat on her back, with enormous belly and her legs spread, is clearly a reference to her unwavering support for very late term abortions.

And lastly, the expression of shock and surprise on her face probably memorializes the first time she came into Bill Clinton's Oval Office when she forgot to knock.

The Donald Trump statue:

The first thing we notice about the Donald Trump statue is the hair. It's more than hair, it's like a hard, firm, shell, a helmet even, a helmet for a warrior going into battle.

Notice the asymmetry in Mr. Trump's left and right breasts. The left is bigger, while the right is sagging. Does this show Mr. Trump to be more liberal than conservative? Just the opposite. It shows that conservatives like Breitbart and Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly have gorged themselves on the rightmost teat while the left has been left unmolested, given his lack of appeal to liberals.

The large belly is symbolic of wealth. Note how bright green the varicose veins are--green as in the color of money, money flowing through Mr. Trump's body.

Mr. Trump has a serious expression on his face, and his arms are linked. He's obviously in a pose meant to remind one of the famous statue "The Thinker".

If you look closely, you'll notice Mr. Trump's lower body hair perfectly matches his upper hair color. This symbolizes his internal and external consistency on the issues.

Notice how young and handsome Mr. Trump's legs look from the front, and how grotesque and wrinkled his body appears from the back. This is meant to symbolize the good and bad side inherent in many people. The front side symbolizes his desire to build a border wall, cut taxes, and keep the country safe from Middle East refugees. His back side symbolizes his urges to grab women by their private parts and kiss married women. Which is the "real" Trump? Both are!

Lastly, you may think that the small size of Mr. Trump's genitals are an insult. Just the opposite!

In ancient [Greek statues], it seems, a small penis was the sought-after look for the alpha male. “Greeks associated small and non-erect penises with moderation, which was one of the key virtues that formed their view of ideal masculinity,” explains classics professor Andrew Lear, who has taught at Harvard, Columbia and NYU and runs tours focused on gay history. “There is the contrast between the small, non-erect penises of ideal men (heroes, gods, nude athletes etc) and the over-size, erect penises of Satyrs (mythic half-goat-men, who are drunkards and wildly lustful) and various non-ideal men.

“The ideal Greek man was rational, intellectual and authoritative.... He may still have had a lot of sex, but this was unrelated to his penis size, and his small penis allowed him to remain coolly logical.”

What lessons of art history do you take away from these statues?

[Originally publiahed in AT]



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