Help a black woman choose between black and white sperm donors



Have you ever vacillated over whether to buy a chocolate or vanilla ice cream cone, thinking to yourself, "Chocolate! Vanilla! Chocolate! Vanilla! Chocolate! No, vanilla!"? Now if you think that's a tough decision, imagine how much more difficult it would be for a black woman to choose between using a black or white sperm donor to impregnate herself.

That's the dilemma one black woman faced, and she brought her quandary to the experts on racial sperm bank withdrawals at Slate.com:

Dear Care & Feeding,

I am a single black woman who is considering having a child. Since I don’t have a partner, I would essentially be choosing everything about my child’s other parent, including race. Which is a big issue for me. If I choose a black donor, I’d be consigning my child to the racism that I face every day. I’m proudly black, but because I am black I understand how difficult it is to navigate life as a black person. While I understand that being biracial comes with its own set of issues (like people asking “What are you?”) it still provides certain levels of privilege that I don’t have access to. If I choose a donor with lighter skin than mine, how can I then teach my child to be proud of their black roots? How would I explain that to my very black family?

—Donor Dilemma

Do you see the problem? The writer is worried that if she chooses a white father, it will reduce the black racial purity of her child. (Never mind the fact that the questioner is highly unlikely to be 100% black, unless she just got off the boat last week from Africa.). But on the other hand, a black father will only ensure more racism against her child.

Slate's racial expert advised Donor Dilemma that

It is an unusual and amazing situation to be able to effectively choose the race of your child.

Slate thinks it is "amazing" to be able to select the race of your child (if you're black). The Slate writer says that the questioner need not worry, if you have one drop of black blood and are 99.99% white, you can still be black.

And you don’t have to be 100 percent black to be a part of this. Not even 50 percent. The one-drop rule still applies.

Did scientists find the remains of Adolf Hitler in his bunker, replicate the DNA, and create a clone who now writes a column for Slate? Because it sure sounds that way.

Let's look at the pros and cons ourselves so we can better advise this woman.

If the woman chooses a black sperm donor, her kids will face a lot of discrimination in our racist society. They won't be able use white water fountains, white bathrooms, or sit in the white section of lunch counters. They will have to ride in the back of the bus. But on the other hand, choosing a black sperm donor will bring the questioner closer to having children who meets her desire for African racial purity.

If the woman chooses a white sperm donor, her kids will get immediate preference in admittance to college, jobs (especially government jobs), and starring roles on NBA teams. On the downside, if her child is female and needs an abortion, Planned Parenthood will be 50% less interested in helping her. If the child gets active in the slave reparations movement, she will have to go through the awkward and basically pointless steps of paying slave reparations to herself. And of course there is that black racial purity issue.

I like the fact that nowhere in this discussion is a debate on whether a child even needs a father. As long as there is welfare, SNAP, and CHIP, fathers are not necessary, right?

What advice would you give this woman on what kind of sperm donor to choose? Should she go with black racial purity, or white privilege?



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