GOP spending $400 million to teach pregnant women how to navigate


If you're on a cruise ship and you learn that the captain is a pregnant woman, wouldn't you still expect that she would know how to steer the boat? I would!

And yet the GOP budget being passed by Congress allocates $400 million dollars to give pregnant women "navigators".

All kidding aside, "navigators" is the Orwellian phrase that that liberals use and Republicans eagerly adopt to refer to individuals who help poor people sign up for subsidized Obamacare and other welfare programs.

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In other words, not only do we have a massive welfare state, but we have a second massive welfare state grafted on top of the first welfare state employing a bureaucracy to encourage more people to go on welfare. That's doubly perfect because it creates two new Democratic voting groups.

Here's the budget allocation:

An extension by five years of a program that gives roughly $400 million annually to fund community health workers to help at-risk pregnant women and families navigate the social safety net.

There's so much liberal jargon in one sentence that you need subtitles, like a foreign movie, to figure out what is going on.

First of all, what is a "community health worker"? Are these the people who make the super-effective flu vaccine? How many illnesses does a community health worker treat? Could it be... zero? "Community health worker" is a fancy name for a bureaucrat who gets people to start sucking on the public teat.

Now, what is an "at-risk" pregnant woman? What is she "at-risk" of? If it's getting pregnant, I'd say the worst has already come to pass. What differentiates an "at-risk" pregnant woman from a "perfectly safe" pregnant woman? I'm guessing that "at-risk" means "at-risk of taking taxpayer money."

And now the last part: "navigate the social safety net". Doesn't a "net" sound like a claustrophobic trap, an energy-draining mist like Star Trek's "Tholian Web" that saps the initiative to work? Not for liberals. For liberals, poor people are trapeze artists who leap through the air and perform tremendous feats but need a net below them just in case they miss a swing!

And now the navigating part. That's a fancy way of saying that poor people are too dumb to apply for welfare on their own. They are so dumb, in fact (according to liberals) that government needs to spend hundreds of millions of dollars just to get them signed up for it. But liberals don't want to call it "help for stupid people", so they call it "navigating", as if pregnant women are like Captain Janeway of Star Trek, boldly travailing the galaxy... but just in need of a little help from a compass from time to time.

Why pregnant women need special help is unclear--do liberals think that all the blood drains from their head and goes into their bellies?

The fact is that going on welfare is not difficult. Take Obamacare. In many states, all you have to do is go on Healthcare.gov and answer a few simple questions like, "What is your name" and "Where do you live" and "What is your income". These questions, apparently, are too difficult for poor people to do on their own.

Some customers don't know how to use a computer.

What is COMPUTER? It reminds me of a line from the Star Trek episode, "Spock's Brain", where an entire civilization of lovely ladies is entirely ignorant and their leader asks, "Brain and Brain? What is Brain?"

Back to the liberal reasons for "navigators":

Many don't understand insurance lingo — what's a deductible, anyway? — and don't know how to pick the best plan for their needs. Consumers get confused about how to estimate income....

What is income? Is that like outcome, only with a minus sign in front of it?

... and determine household size to qualify for premium tax credits that are available for people with incomes up to 400 percent of the poverty level (about $98,000 for a family of four).

How many people are in my household? Can you please come over to my home and count for me? I don't think I have nearly enough fingers!

"People are still struggling with the metal levels," ...referring to the bronze, silver, gold and platinum plan types offered on the marketplaces that pay from 60 to 90 percent of covered medical expenses.

Perhaps they should have called them the "nap", "cookie", and "bedtime story" plans to better engage the pre-kindergarten mindset of these presumably fully functioning adults.

You know, our tax system is tremendously complicated, more so than Obamacare plans, and yet there are no "navigators" to help us fill out our taxes (only an increasingly understaffed phone line). Why is that?

The government also puts out millions of pages of regulation every year, but there are no navigators to help businesses with those either. Why is that?

It seems to me that the only navigators out there are for people who are signing up for welfare or subsidies. The government is only trying to steer people into one port, and it's a port called Socialism.

I seriously believe that if people are not mentally capable of reading simplified literature about insurance plans and answering a few basic questions such as "how big is your household" that they shouldn't be voting. How can they have the ability to judge candidates if they cannot answer such simple questions?

But of course, that is the overarching problem. We have a large, undereducated underclass who doesn't need to have basic skills. All they need is the ability to know which party will give them all the goodies.

What's next, government "navigators" at the voting booths?

[originally in AT]



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