A transcript of Christine Blasey Ford's FBI interview



What follows is a transcript of the FBI's interview with Christine Blasey Ford, given to me by a member of Senator Dianne Feinstein's office, who also assured me that the Senator's office was not involved in any way in the leak of the transcript.

Present were Dr. Ford, Dr. Ford's lawyer Debra Katz, FBI Agent Smith, and Dr. Ford's 16 cats.

Smith: Dr. Ford, I'd like to interview you about your alleged encounter with Brett Kavanaugh.

Ford: Now? Now isn't a good time. The incident with Brett Kavanaugh makes me very nervous during Septembers.

Katz: And Octobers!

Smith: Were you assaulted in a September or October?

Ford: Maybe. Yes. Possibly. Definitely. Could we do the interview in November, after the elections? My medulla is always a little off balance right before elections. That's perfectly normal for a survivor of a sexual assault.

Katz: What my client means is not that she is able to be interviewed in November, but is willing to talk in November about scheduling an interview, possibly for January or February.

[redacted]

Smith: Dr. Ford, you told the Committee that the alleged assault made you afraid of flying, delaying the hearing a week, and yet we learned that you flew to Washington to testify.

Ford: No, that was a misunderstanding, I wasn't afraid of flying, I'm afraid of frying. Fried foods give me gas, and remind me of Brett Kavanaugh.

Smith: Chairman Grassley even offered to send staff members to California to interview you.

Ford: Did he? Wait. Let me download that memory. Processing. Processing. Processing. No, I don't remember that. That's not imprinted on my hippocampus. I thought he was offering me coffee or tea.

Katz: For your information, it is perfectly normal for a PTSD victim to confuse the phrases "come to California to interview you" with "would you like some coffee or tea".

Ford: The neural circuits are identical. I should know, I'm a psychologist.

Smith: Dr. Ford, you told the Committee you had an extensive lie detector test, and yet we've learned you were only asked two questions.

Ford: Was I? I didn't say I did, but I didn't say I didn't. But it was either one, or the other, or something else.

Smith: Dr. Ford, why do you have two doors on your house?

Ford: One is for me, and the other is for my 16 cats.

Smith: 16 cats?

Ford: Yes, one named for each female Democratic Senator. Look, look at Kamala, isn't she cute? She's half Persian, half Nubian.

Smith: But you told the Committee you had two front doors because of the trauma of your experience with Brett Kavanaugh.

Ford: Yes, that's true. I have two front doors because of my cats... and Brett Kavanaugh. If he comes in one door, I can go out the other. Actually, maybe I should get a third door now, one for Brett, one for me, and one for my cats.

[redacted]

Smith: You say you are a professor at Palo Alto University, and yet there are no records of any such school. Is it a real school?

Ford: Sure it is! Here are some names of fellow professors! [Redacted]

Smith: We contacted them, and they have no memory of being professors at a place called Palo Alto University.

Ford: Well, just because they don't remember teaching there doesn't mean it didn't happen!

Smith: Ms. Ford, why did you go to say hello to Mark Judge at a Safeway some weeks after the incident, if as you say he tried to rape you?

Ford: You see, the left side of my medulla had processed that, but it hadn't yet sunk into the right side, I was still processing. Neurobiologically, it hadn't sunk into my psychological CPU.

Smith: Ms. Ford, you said you had to walk by Brett Kavanaugh in the living room when you left. What do you remember of that, or how you got home that night?

Ford: Nothing.

Katz: Perfectly normal not to remember!

Smith: You had a best friend at the party, did you leave her behind there?

Ford: Don't remember.

Katz: That's expected, not to remember. She's a survivor! Survivors never remember!

Smith: But you do remember having only one cup of beer.

Ford: Yes, that I remember perfectly. It was a transparent eight ounce Dixie Cup, serial number 859384 stamped on the bottom, with 14 rings on the side, and the beer was as high as the 12th ring, and there were 8 small bubbles on the surface. But aside from the sexual assault, and the fact that I only drank one beer, I remember nothing else.

Smith: Dr. Ford, you say you've been seeing a therapist. Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness?

Katz: Don't answer that! That's a highly disrespectful question!

Smith: Sorry. Are you currently on any psychiatric medication?

Katz: Don't answer! That's a highly sexist question! MSNBC is going to do a feature on you, Agent Smith!

Ford, putting on metal helmet: I'm sensing some real negativity here!

Smith: What is that helmet you are wearing?

Ford: It's a thought blocker. It prevents Brett Kavanaugh from sending signals to my mind. This interview is confidential, isn't it?

Smith: It is.

Ford: Good. Respect my privacy! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready for a photospread in The Washington Post. Tell me the truth, do you think I look more lucid in a red dress, or a blue one?



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Christine Blasey Ford and the mysterious case of the missing bathroom


There was a subtle fact to be learned from Christine Blasey Ford's testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee yesterday. No, not merely that she lied about being afraid to fly on airplanes so she could delay the hearing as long as possible.
CONTINUE READING

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