Not From The Onion: Eric Cantor Lectures On How to Win Elections



The Virginia Conservative Network had a special guest speaker this weekend: former Congressman Eric Cantor! Cantor, the only House Majority Leader in US history who was defeated by a virtually unfunded, no-name challenger (by 10 percentage points!), lectured on "How to Win Elections".

This article appeared in the Washington Post, not The Onion. (Although sometimes it is hard to tell the difference.)

According to organizers, Cantor gave an invitation-only crowd of more than 100 tips on how to frame their message to voters as Republicans prepare to defend their slim majority in the state Senate this year

100 tips! The Washington Post, with its reputation for writing in-depth articles that cover every angle, nonetheless ran short on space on its website and so couldn't list a single one of them. But maybe we can guess at some of them.

1) When you're campaigning for amnesty for children of illegal aliens, as Cantor did extensively, don't call it amnesty, call it "Comprehensive Immigration Reform".

2) Talk about cutting wasteful government spending but be sure not to name any specific programs that your opponent in the general election could pin you down on.

3) Say you want to repeal Obamacare and then hold one or more purely symbolic votes per session to do just that; but don't mix that contentious stuff with the serious business of passing a budget.

4) The fewer people who know what's in the budget, the better. If you give more than 24 hours notice and the budget is less than 1000 pages, you're not expediting.

5) Say you're going to investigate abuses at the IRS and the NSA, but don't poison relations with the executive branch once you're actually in a position to govern. After all, you want to govern responsibly and reach across the aisle, don't you?

Cantor was joined by Linwood Cobb, his right-hand man in the party’s Seventh District Committee whose ouster foreshadowed Cantor’s own demise.

Good, they brought in more experts!
And by the way, the Virginia Conservative Network has nothing to do with conservatives.

The day-long meeting of the Virginia Conservative Network featured a who’s who of establishment Republicans in the mold of Cantor

Maybe calling themselves conservative was one of those 100 tips!

So an organization that calls itself conservative, but isn't, gets a lecture on winning elections by someone who can't. What's next, inviting Mitt Romney to explain how to win presidential elections?



Related articles:
Good news! GOP Govs to Be 'Pragmatic,' says NYT

Lib Media: Departing lawmakers bemoan lack of compromise

Republicans excited by AG nominee who supports Obama's illegal actions








Let's All Hope Ted Cruz Zeros Out the NASA Budget


Senator Ted Cruz is going to chair the Senate Transportation Committee's Subcommittee on Space, Science and Competitiveness. (What does competitiveness have to do with outer space? There's mission creep already, just in the title of the subcomittee! However, it's very symbolic, because NASA also suffers from mission creep.)
CONTINUE READING

Related articles:
Space Probe Lands On Comet, And Nothing Learned








Why Obama Loves to Release Terrorists From Gitmo


Why Obama Loves to Release Terrorists From Gitmo
CONTINUE READING Related articles:
WashPost opinion writer says we can't fight radical islam

Here's a puzzling question: why isn't Beirut's rebuilt downtown thriving?

Syrian rebels vetted by Obama go over to Islamic State, Part 943



WashPost opinion writer says we can't fight radical islam


Fareed Zakaria wrote an op-ed in the Washington Post entitled, "US Intervention is Not the Answer" regarding our fight against radical Islam. At least, I think he wrote the article; given all the times he's been accused of plagiarism, it's hard to be sure.
CONTINUE READING Related articles:
Here's a puzzling question: why isn't Beirut's rebuilt downtown thriving?

Syrian rebels vetted by Obama go over to Islamic State, Part 943

Iranian revolution guards pose for pictures with US-armed Lebanese Soldiers



Good news! GOP Govs to Be 'Pragmatic,' says NYT


The New York Times breathlessly reports that Republican governors are promising to be pragmatic. Pragmatic means "dealing with things based on practical rather than theoretical considerations," according to Google definitions. That's good! Or is it?
CONTINUE READING Related articles:
Lib Media: Departing lawmakers bemoan lack of compromise

Republicans excited by AG nominee who supports Obama's illegal actions

Mike Lee may face a primary challenge from leftist republicans



West Virginia decides to teach global warming propaganda to kids


West Virginia watered down an educational curriculum that dared to question the existence of man-made global warming
CONTINUE READING Related articles:
Liberal scientists say global warming, not illegals, worsening california drought

Scientists warning of global cooling once again!

California spending drought money to prepare for flooding



Why 26 Republicans don't want DREAMers to wake up


The House of Representatives took a symbolic vote to cancel President Obama's illegal amnesty for illegal aliens. (Yes, I was compelled to awkwardly use the word "illegal" twice in one sentence – once to describe those who cross the border without permission and demand "rights," and a second time to describe how a president asserted powers he didn't have, like a tinpot Latin American dictator with access to better golf courses.)
CONTINUE READING Related articles:
Mexican President praises Obama for letting illegals in

Marco Rubio is very much for and against amnesty for illegal aliens

LA Times puzzled why San Diego has gang trouble



The New York Times has a new boyfriend, and his name is Jeb


The media have two great loves in life: liberals, and conservative who "grow" and become liberals. Jeb Bush, who clearly falls in the latter category, was the subject of a fawning piece in the New York Times. The article starts with a big photo of Jeb doing charity work a month ago (that's big news now!) and talks about Jeb's "progression" from "headbanging" conservatism to a "more nuanced approach." Yes, Bush calls conservatism "headbanging," which tells you in just one word what he thinks of conservatism.
CONTINUE READING Related articles:
Why Jeb Bush thinks you're retarded

Jeb Bush turns the wrong cheek on gay marriage

Jeb Bush asks for advice on how not to be conservative



Mitt Romney thinks only Mitt Romney can win the presidency


Mitt Romney is now "seriously considering a run" for president in 2016, reports the Washington Post.
CONTINUE READING

Photo Captioning Contest: Boehner making out with Nancy Pepsi!


Top captions:
CONTINUE READING

Mexican President praises Obama for letting illegals in


Mexico’s president, Enrique Peña Nieto, on Tuesday praised the steps President Obama has taken to shield millions of unauthorized immigrants from deportation, describing them as “an act of justice” after meeting with Mr. Obama at the White House.


CONTINUE READING Related articles:
Marco Rubio is very much for and against amnesty for illegal aliens

LA Times puzzled why San Diego has gang trouble

How Israel deals with its illegal alien problem




Next Page





Search Topic Areas
o Donald Trump
o Best articles
o Abortion
o Economy
o Education
o Environment
o Hairy feminists
o Gay agenda
o Gun control
o Illegal aliens
o Pop culture
o Radical islam
o Republicans
o Reverse Racism
o Ted Cruz
o Transvestite agenda




NewsMachete.com Copyright 2015
Feedback


Who is NewsMachete?

Privacy policy
Search Topic Areas
o Donald Trump
o Best articles
o Abortion
o Economy
o Education
o Environment
o Hairy feminists
o Gay agenda
o Gun control
o Illegal aliens
o Pop culture
o Radical islam
o Republicans
o Reverse Racism
o Ted Cruz
o Transvestite agenda