Obama Diaries: Train of Thought



Obama entered the Oval Office, and was a little surprised to find people sitting there. One of them was Valerie. The rest he didn't recognize, though the black lady sitting on the far right looked a little familiar. Only later did he find out that they were his Secretary of Transportation, Deputy Chief of Staff, and his new Attorney General, Loretta Lynch.

"Hey, what's going on?" said Obama, trying to take stock of the situation.

"We have a meeting with you at 9, sir," said Valerie.

"But it's nearly 10 now," said Obama. He actually had just dropped by to pick up his golf clubs.

"Yes sir," said Valerie pointedly.

Obama stopped and checked his calendar. "Oh. We're supposed to be meeting about the train thing, right?"
"Yes sir."

"I don't schedule meetings so early in the morning."

"You did this time, sir. You said you didn't want it to conflict with your... ten o'clock."

"Oh, that's right." Obama looked meaningfully at his golf clubs leaning against the wall. "All right, let's get this over with then."

"We have to decide how to react to the derailment of the Amtrak train in Philadelphia," said Valerie.

"Well, it's obviously a problem of not enough money being spent on infrastructure," said Obama, still eyeing his clubs. He casually walked over to them, touching them almost absentmindedly.

"Well the problem with that is that our first stimulus package had 800 billion dollars for infrastructure."
"Only a downpayment," said Obama, pulling out a putter. He casually walked over to the putting green on the side of his desk. It had been tactfully placed over the resistant white stains in the rug dating from the Clinton administration. "We need another investment to do it right. Anyone who says otherwise is anti-safety."

"Some say that the engineer was at fault," said Valerie. "The train was doing 100 MPH in a 50 MPH zone."

"Who was the engineer?"
"A white man," said Valerie

Obama gave a broad grin as he aimed his putter.

"But we think he's gay."

Obama swung with a jerk, causing the ball to go wide. "All right," he said, retrieving the ball. "We can still turn this to our advantage. Has anyone investigated to see whether the train controls are overtly heterosexual?"

Everyone looked at each other with bewilderment. "No," said Lynch.

"Gay men feel more comfortable with controls that have a lot of holes and deep pressing buttons. Investigate the controls to see if they have a heterosexist bent," said Obama. He hit the ball again, and it moved a whole foot. Well, that was progress.

His aides were rapidly writing down his words.

"Another thing, about these tracks, were they near a minority community?"
"Yes," said Jarrett.

"Talk about the racist nature of infrastructure, that the needs of minority areas get taken care of last. It wouldn't surprise me to learn that tracks in white neighborhoods are in much better condition than tracks in black ones," said Obama.

"Yes sir," said Jarrett.

"Find out the race, gender, sexual orientation, and religions of the victims. If there were any disparities in vulnerable groups, report it to me at once."

"Yes sir."

"And what about transgendered people?" said

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