Who is more damaged goods, Hillary or Lunch Box Joe?



If a tortoise with a broken leg ran a race against a tortoise with a broken arm, which one would win? That's the prediction dilemma we are faced in the race that is shaping up between Hillary Clinton and Joe "Lunch Box" Biden. (Joe calls himself "Lunch Box" to make him seem like an ordinary blue collar worker, but I think the only lunch box Biden has ever seen was probably a Bento one).

With Bernie Sanders and now Biden entering the race, it looks like Hillary will soon be facing the reunion cast from the octogenarian movie "Cocoon". But Biden is such damaged goods that he is already dropping hints that he would only run for one term, which is only one more term than Al Gore has promised to run for.

The question arises, then, who is more damaged goods, Hillary, or Lunch Box Joe?

On the one hand, Hillary Clinton at 67 is a spring chicken compared to Lunch Box Joe, who is 72. Hillary retains the outer vestiges of youth with a lye for hair that Swedes would not call fair. Lunch Box Joe, on the other hand, looks much older, his hair plugs having turned as white as a New Year's eve snow. I think given her relative youth that Hillary could have more of a lock on the 55-65 year old demographic, while Joe could clean up with people in their 70's, 80's and 90's.

Hillary, though, has certain ethical problems, and I am not talking about her marriage to an accused rapist, which seems to trouble no one in the media. I am referring to all her shady dealings, the foremost of which is running the nation's foreign policy out of private bathroom and holding our top secrets so insecurely that even the cleaning lady, had she a good command of English, could have tapped into them. Then there is the matter of her being Secretary of State while simultaneously accepting donations to her foundation from foreign donors, foreign donors, who, to Hillary's surprise, had business that intersected with a US Secretary of State.

Then there is the minor matter of Hillary's accomplishments. Whenever she is asked about them, she pivots to talking about women and girls. There is worry in her campaign that voters are starting to realize that this is kind of reponse is a non-sequitor.

Lunch Box Joe, on the other hand, is a walking gaffe machine.

"You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.... I'm not joking." --Joe Biden

"A successful dump!" --Joe Biden, explaining his whereabouts (dropping deadwood at the dump) to the reporters outside his home/

"His mom lived in Long Island for ten years or so. God rest her soul. And- although, she's- wait- your mom's still- your mom's still alive. Your dad passed. God bless her soul." --Joe Biden, on the mother of Irish Prime Minister Brian Cowen, who is very much alive.

When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, 'Look, here's what happened." –Joe Biden, apparently unaware that FDR wasn't president when the stock market crashed in 1929 and that only experimental TV sets were in use at that time

So what do you think? Who will give the weaker performance?

(Abridged version originally published in AT)



Related articles:
Did Joe Biden Make a Pass at Barney Frank?

Does Hillary need to be elected President to stay out of jail?

Hillary finally gives voters a reason to support her: her deceased mother








GOP first strike on Trump is about immigration, not third party bids


The GOP bureaucracy has launched their first attack on Donald Trump. The state parties of Virginia and North Carolina are considering requiring candidates who want to be on the presidential primary ballots to pledge that they will support the GOP nominee:
CONTINUE READING

Related articles:
Reince Priebus embraces Trump with the enthusiasm of an ISIS hostage

Bush launches airstrike on Trump, misses target

Who is tougher on border security, Donald Trump or Ted Cruz?




Reince Priebus embraces Trump with the enthusiasm of an ISIS hostage


Do you ever see those hostage videos where the hostages say nice things about their captors, but from their demeanor and tone it looks forced? That's how RNC Chairman Reince Priebus looked when he went on TV to say how great Donald Trump is for the party:
CONTINUE READING Related articles:
Bush launches airstrike on Trump, misses target

Who is tougher on border security, Donald Trump or Ted Cruz?

GOP insiders say Trump needs to stop talking about illegal aliens NOW



lsVOPMIgxtSQyiV


O2JVN0 http://www.LnAJ7K8QSpkiStk3sLL0hQP6MO2wQ8gO.com
CONTINUE READING

Bush launches airstrike on Trump, misses target


Jeb Bush's viagra-themed super PAC, "Right to Rise", launched an airstrike on a Trump rally last week. Fortunately, the munitions went off target and there were no political casualties to the Trump campaign.
CONTINUE READING Related articles:
Come laugh with us as we read Bush's "Why Jeb?" Flier!

Bush supports birthright citizenship, but calls for greater enforcement of... something

If Jeb Bush is not nominated, will he pledge to support the GOP candidate?



Who is tougher on border security, Donald Trump or Ted Cruz?


When it comes to Jeb Bush, we know where he stands on border security. If the border were a bedroom, Bush would disrobe, get under the covers, close his eyes and smile, and wait for an act of love. When it comes to Scott Walker, we also know his views on illegal immigration--all of them. We just don't know which ones he will have on any particular day.
CONTINUE READING Related articles:
Ted Cruz shows Presidential qualities while grilling pork and lesbian activist

Why Romney and Bush want Cruz to mumble like they do

Cruz to McConnell: "You lie!"



Why polls alone don't show the true leaders of the GOP race


Who are the leaders in this crowded race for the GOP nomination? If you look at national polls, the top three are Trump, Bush, and Carson. If you look at New Hampshire, it's Trump, Kasich, and Bush. If you look at Iowa, it's Trump, Carson, and Walker, though I don't know how proud Scott Walker can be to be third in a state that should almost be giving him a home-state advantage.
CONTINUE READING Related articles:
A review of the inconsistencies of the major GOP candidates

Phony Obamacare lawsuit makes House GOP look tough on Obama

Elizabeth Warren's analysis of the GOP conservatives can agree with



Rand Paul unlikely to be nominated, according to Rand Paul


In order for a candidate to attract supporters, he needs at least one of two things: to show that he is winning, or to show that he has the potential to win. In the early stages, which we are now, a candidate can be viable and still be in single digits in the polls, as long as people think he has potential to move up. The minute he concedes that he's not going to win, he's lost.
CONTINUE READING Related articles:
Is Rand Paul trying to bribe the Kentucky GOP?

Rand Paul solicits donations from drug dealers

Levin: Rand Paul covering up Obamacare fraud



Irony Alert: Liberals furious over Bruce Jenner Halloween costumes


With homosexual and transgender issues always at the forefront, whether we like it or not, it's a relief to know that now your kids will have a gender-fluid option for this coming Halloween:
CONTINUE READING Related articles:
How does Bravo get away with putting a disguised man on "Real Housewives"?

White House appoints man dressed as woman as personnel recruiter

Taxpayer money being used to teach "transgendered" men to talk like girls



Liberal scientists say global warming, not illegals, worsening california drought


What would we do without liberal scientists, scientists who, in order to earn their paycheck, are required to find problems with whatever their grants pay for? In this case, they are required to find dangers from global warming; if they don't, their grants are cut off, and they have to get productive jobs, or get retrained to speak Spanish and deliver social services to families of Dreamers.
CONTINUE READING Related articles:
Scientists warning of global cooling once again!

California spending drought money to prepare for flooding

Harvard Study: global warming may end threat of mummies



Can you guess what Yale is not doing with its $24 billion dollar endowment?


Yale has an endowment of $24 billion dollars. Harvard has $32 billion. It pains me to say it, but both my alma maters are getting richer while poor students are getting poorer.
CONTINUE READING Related articles:
Liberals don't know why "You're fat!" report cards don't work

Is the School Lunch Program really necessary?

The greed of super wealthy liberal colleges is astounding




Next Page





Search Topic Areas
o Donald Trump
o Best articles
o Abortion
o Economy
o Education
o Environment
o Hairy feminists
o Gay agenda
o Gun control
o Illegal aliens
o Pop culture
o Radical islam
o Republicans
o Reverse Racism
o Ted Cruz
o Transvestite agenda




NewsMachete.com Copyright 2015
Feedback


Who is NewsMachete?

Privacy policy
Search Topic Areas
o Donald Trump
o Best articles
o Abortion
o Economy
o Education
o Environment
o Hairy feminists
o Gay agenda
o Gun control
o Illegal aliens
o Pop culture
o Radical islam
o Republicans
o Reverse Racism
o Ted Cruz
o Transvestite agenda